‘Til It’s Gone - Chapter 5 - Anywhere But Home
DarknessDescends [Flashback] Shane opens up to a friend.
Season 5 episode 12
The L Word
Shane/Jenny (Shenny)
Shane McCutcheon, Jodi Lerner
PG-13
2 788
I don’t own the characters, they totally own me. No copyright infringement is intended.
I wrote most of this chapter back in November when I was doing the NaNoWriMo, but for various reasons I didn’t have time to finish it until now. This is the 5th chapter and one of many flashbacks.
I have this thing that I do, if there’s something everyone seems to do or like, then I absolutely cannot do or like that particular thing. Like a reversed kind of peer pressure, but not really. Because I don’t do it just to be different, but because I like things to feel like they’re just mine. Like when I decided after reading the first two Harry Potter books in the late 90’s/early 2000’s that too many people were talking about them and I needed a break. Took me almost a decade to actually catch up.
Lately I’ve been trying to change this stubborn and annoying habit by telling myself it’s okay to do what everyone else does. Here are a few examples:
Books: Some people love Twilight, others hate it. Everyone seems to have an opinion either way, and after some thought I decided that I couldn’t hate the book just out of principle, but I should actually read it first to confirm my suspicions about its suckyness. I managed to read about 50 pages before I got tired of the crappy writing and the ridiculous plot, but at least I tried.
TV: I started watching How I Met Your Mother after just assuming it was dumb for years, and now I’m absolutely obsessed with it. Barney is AWESOME!
Music: Sweden has about 9 million people. About 8 million of them are obsessed with a band called Kent who are boring as hell and the singer mumbles so you can’t hear a word he sings. At least that’s what I used to think until a few days ago when I decided to listen to a few of their songs that I actually like, and they rock. They really do. I have to quit lying to myself. (Kent - Musik Non Stop @ youtube.com)
WWW: I fell for the pressure. After telling people for 2.5 years that I was never, under any circumstances, ever, EVER going to get a Facebook account, I went and did it. Too many of my old friends kept telling me I had to, and curiosity got the best of me - I just had to see what was so special about that place. After poking around in there for a bit I know it’s nothing new - I mean, we’ve had sites like that in Sweden for more than 10 years - but I think the reason why everyone joins is because everyone’s there. It’s the one place right now where everyone goes, so everyone else goes too. Oh well. It works for me, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the damn thing other than add people I know. But god, this feels almost as awkward as when I got a myspace account two years ago.
It’s strange. These things almost make me feel more normal.
And before I go, one last bit of useless information:
Apparently I fit into a Guitar Hero box. And yes, you can close the lid and shut me in there too.
I’m having a lazy moment, just sitting here with my beer, listening to Guitar Hero songs. I just managed to unlock Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy train” and I’m insanely pleased and proud of this even if it wasn’t the least bit difficult to pull that off. I just happen to love that song. My other roomie came home tonight so all three of us played GH together and I take back the thing I said about the drums. Me and the drums get along just fine now, and the same goes for the microphone. I felt like I was in Zoolander though when I had to try to sing “Beat it” by Michael Jackson and I don’t even know the lyrics.
Enough about that.
Today I talked to one of my online friends and tried to help her with her Shenny fanfic and it really made me miss working on my own. I honestly haven’t done a whole lot of that lately, kinda got a bit burnt out during the NaNoWriMo when I wrote 50 000 words of Shenny fanfic in 30 days. I have so many chapters that are close to completed, but I just can’t seem to focus enough to just sit my ass down and finish them. And as if that wasn’t enough, a new story for season 6 is starting to form in my head and every single brain cell seems to want me to work on that one instead of the others, and gaaah! Don’t I have enough stories already?
Another thing I want to work on is my idea for a new site. Not that I intend to shut down ATWWNS when season 6 ends or anything, because I really don’t, but I still want to start a new project at some point. I’ll have to think about it though, because this particular idea might be a case of me wanting to do too much. I would have to build the whole thing from scratch, and I’d have to do it all by myself even if projects like that usually have at least 5 people working on it.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many things that I want to do. And I kinda need a cigarette about now.
Me and cousin were going to the store/post office to pick up the Guitar Hero World Tour that I’d ordered and jesus, we really hadn’t expected it to be THAT heavy. The fact that it weighed about 35 lbs wouldn’t have been that big a deal if the box hadn’t a bit too big to carry for one person and we’re both kinda tiny. So I walked backwards carrying one end while she held the other, and it was ridiculous, especially since I had 10 lbs of groceries in my messenger bag and had a plastic bag with toilet paper in a bag hanging from my wrist. It wasn’t until we were almost home that she said we could have taken a bike and put it in the back of that, and then I made her go and get hers so we could put it on there. But seriously, I am not gonna need to use the Wii Fit for a while, or rather, I won’t be able to because my poor muscles are gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.
Still, when I put everything together (the drums and the guitar), we started playing anyway. Singing really isn’t that difficult, but playing drums is freaking ridiculous. After a while I was just sitting there hitting everything no matter what the game told me to do and we laughed like idiots when after about 10 attempts at Blondie’s “One way or another” we still couldn’t do better than 29 %.
As dumb as that game makes me feel, I still sense that this is going to turn into another bad addiction of mine.
It “only” took me 3 days to get everything up and running and while I was working on it I had all these ideas of things I wanted to write about but now that I’m done I can’t really remember any of them. Bugger. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t sleep.
I honestly don’t know what’s up with the pink. I mean, first the ATWWNS skin I made for my Shenny site turned out that way, then a bunch of icons did, and now this. I have a theory that Jenny’s lips are to blame. See, lately it seems that either Shane and Jenny are dressed in black or I make the pics turn nearly black/white. Usually the only color that remains is Jenny’s lipstick which pretty much always is - you guessed it - pink.
As if the pink thing isn’t enough, I’ve also been listening to Katy Perry the last day or so. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t even like her but it just feels good for my poor head to actually listen to the songs that keep getting stuck in there. And I also need to record, or at least write down the lyrics for the parody I made of “I kissed a girl”. Just worried that I might get sued and we don’t want that, now do we? I’ll just have to think of something.
I’m all by myself here since I shut the cats out of the living room because they kept trying to knock over the christmas tree. My cousin/roomie is at school and Heather went back to Scotland last night. It’s been like 3 weeks since I was on my own and I guess I’m not used to it because I have to admit I’m slightly bored.
I think I might be too tired to think of anything even remotely interesting right now, I just didn’t want this thing to be completely empty.
Yay for new blog! (And yes, I promise to try to be more interesting in my future posts.)
Manic
Mischievous
Thoughtful
Exhausted
Accomplished
